By Janelle Ross
I am supposed to be going to a church thing today and, the truth is, I’d rather stay home. I’m writing this to those of you who know what I’m talking about. Maybe even to those of you who don’t.
It’s not that I hate church things. It’s just- well- it’s been a really long, people-y week. It’s been jam-packed full of working hard with some super-awesome children with special needs while still trying to spend quality time with my homeschooling teenaged son and the rest of my coming-and-going family.
And then there’s all the “stuff.” You know: all the meetings with all the consultants who know all the things to help my little people, and the trying to eat healthy food (oops, messed that one up), and the crying on my husband’s shoulder because life is lonely in a new town, sometimes. And the money thing and the parents-still-worry-about-their-grown-up-kids thing and the-we-can’t-buy-a-house-because-the-last-one-hasn’t-sold-yet thing.
So, honestly, the last thing I feel like doing on this particular Saturday is going to an all-day praise-the-Lord-and-smile women’s event with people I barely know.
I know how that sounds.
I know I sound grumpy and unapproachable and not very spiritual. But can I convince you that those are not my feelings at all? I am, simply… done.
That’s the best I can explain it. Raise your hand if you know what I mean.
I know some of you might be thinking some very true things about my feelings. Things like:
You aren’t going to make new friends unless you get involved, or
You’ll feel better once you get there, or
It will be good for you to go, or
Just trust God; things will work out.
These are the kinds of things I tell myself. All the time. Maybe you have these pep talks with yourself, too?
But, friends? Sometimes a girl has to have a different conversation, because going more and doing more and pushing more might be the path from stick-a-fork-in-me-I’m-done to burnt-to-a-crisp.
Most of the time, I’ll go to and do the things, and be blessed and perhaps even be a blessing. Most of the time, I am joyful and happy and thankful out there in the world.
But some of the time, some of us need to back away from the crowd and be joyful and happy and thankful in our quiet places.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ll attend the church thing today. Instead, I’ll wake my husband and we’ll probably go for a drive and perhaps stop for a coffee and I’ll likely take an afternoon nap or maybe just putter about the house. I already know that by the end of the day I will feel reconnected, restored, and ready to carry on.
If you need a break, friend, take it. God doesn’t mind. In fact, He encourages it. Rest, Sabbath, quiet time – whatever you want to call it – God built it into the rhythm of a healthy life (remember the seventh day?) and Jesus modeled it while he lived on this earth.
Rest, even rest chosen over good things, is a gift and a blessing. Enjoy it.
Love you, sweet sister. My heart hurts a lot for your loneliness and lostness and your need to waitness Moving in itself is a painful thing. Glad you have your loving husband and your God to lean on.
My door is always open…….I know that means going out there……. The kettle is always boiling and there are hugs in my house.
Love your open, honest heart.
God bless your journey. Love you.